high times with Jerry…err…Kaidy?

So as most of you know, I am in two weddings just a short few weeks before this sweet boy is coming.  It is okay, we talk about it on the way to work in the mornings and I’ve made it clear he cannot come until after the weddings.  I think he agrees.

Well I have been searching and searching for a dress that looks like Swayze’s bridesmaids dress in a maternity size and I finally found one. When I went to order it, the website wanted me to put in my dress size…umm like hello, it is a maternity dress and there are no maternity sizes…what?  So I call the 24/7 customer service hotline and get a lady who speaks very bad broken English.  She tells me to just give my bust size in the comment section and make a note that I will be 8.5 months pregnant.  Not reassuring to say the least.

So today I actually find a dress that Swayze and I both like better.  It looks a lot more like her bridesmaid’s dress and it is even slightly cheaper (score!).  It also has thick straps so I can wear a bra which is super-quadruple-whammy-score!   The website looks oddly familiar though…All of the icons and color swatches are the same as the website from the other dress.  I click “chat now” to ask about how to order a size in this dress.

Jerry comes to the chat.  I talk to “Jerry” for a long time.  He tells me to measure all of the different things and then to put in the notes column all of my measurements, how far along I will be and any other instructions. Then at the end of the conversation, he says “this is Kaidy by the way”.  Oh hey Kaidy, I thought I was talking to Jerry.  Am I even talking to Kaidy?? Probably not.  I can tell by her saying things like “I can understand you” instead of “yes” or “ok”.

Anyways, I love “Kaidy”.  I end up talking to her about 5 different times today.  She even tells me how beautiful I will be at said wedding (weird?  nah…).  At lunch my mother in law measures me…belly, bust, under bust, height, shoulders, you name it.  I wrote a very detailed message in the comment box at check out about how I want this dress to fit.  Even telling them I don’t want cleavage. 

Then I clicked my chat box and told “Kaidy” that I bought it.  She said they will get the instructions and make it according to what I told them. It will be great.

Then I waited for my confirmation email.

Then I clicked the box and told “Kaidy” I am waiting for my confirmation email.

Then credit card services called me and asked if I would authorize $90 to dfjdlkfjdfjdfj in China.

Then I told “Kaidy”.  She tried to assure me all is well, to stay calm and they will make the dress.  She personally sends me my confirmation email (a very sketchy confirmation email at that).

Now I have to wait 17 days wondering if a) I am even going to get a dress, b) if my credit card information was stolen by someone in China, c) if the dress does come, will it even come close to fitting?

Happy waiting.