This love.

I just won’t address my absence to the blog.  I’m tired, people, and my computer does not work.  Hence, no photos unless they are from my phone.

I will, however, tell you about something that happened two weeks ago.  It really made me realize even more that I need to be so grateful for this wonderful pregnancy I have had.  Yes, I am really uncomfortable and so very ready for this little man to come, but I want him to grow and stay nice and healthy in my belly.  That is where he is the safest.

This little guy moves all.the.time.  I mean he is a MOVER.  I love it.  One night I noticed he had not moved all day long.  This wasn’t right for him, but I just said he was sleeping, he was fine.  The next morning he still hadn’t moved.  I was kind of concerned, but Brad and I decided I should just get a coffee on the way to work and see if that woke him up a little.  His prime time movement is mid-morning.  Mid-morning came and went and I think I felt him maybe once.  [My doctor says to do “kick counts” which is five kicks per an hour (during an active hour).  I’ve never done them because he moves so much.  I was doing them that morning…and he was no where near five]. I told the hubs and he insisted I call the doctor. 

You know when you call the OB, they take a message and your nurse calls you back about 5 hours later.  Oh no.  Not this day.  The operator said hold on and my nurse got on the phone immediately.  She asked me where I was and told me to get to the office as soon as I possibly could.  I literally hung up the phone and walked out of work, calling my husband on the way.  I think I stopped breathing at that moment and didn’t start again until after the sonogram tech said he was okay.  I did not realize just how scared I was until she smiled at me and said he is fine…he must have just been resting. I lost it.  Right then and there.  First real mom moment I think.  I have never been so scared in my life.  This boy is everything to me and if something happened to him, I just don’t know what I would do with myself.

It really is true that you just cannot fathom the love you will have for your child.  If my heart is already swelling now and I have not even met him, I cannot imagine what this love will be like.  And honestly, I couldn’t be more frightened or excited at the same time.

Are you kidding me?  When I went to get his coming home from the hospital gown monogrammed, I saw these that match the gown…um, yes please, I’ll take them.   So teeny tiny and precious.